It has been said that "awareness" is that time between naps. Many unsuspecting people are exposed to communication and seduction techniques that are clearly structured in the exact same way hypnotists use to put people to "sleep."
Too often when people speak to one another, all they're doing is downloading information onto each other. It is easy to talk to someone for hours and hours without entering into a genuine relationship with him or her. Worse, they're often doing it as "just the facts Maam/Sir" - feeling pressured to find out what "we have in common before we waste more time". This tendency to simply exchange stats stops conversation rather than keeps it going.
A conversation is more than an information exchange; to converse, you have to make a conscious effort to connect human-to-human, individual to individual, man to woman. If you're looking for something deeper and more involved, these suggestions will improve you ability to really connect with the opposite sex:
1. Avoid offering solutions (including giving advice or sympathy) - When people open up to share their true emotions and desires they are not doing it because they want to be told what to do about a problem. Sometimes, it's best to just ask more questions, using their own experience and let them talk. Sometimes all people want is to be heard.
2. Acknowledge the other person's feelings, experience or comment before sharing a similar experience or making a contribution of your own. It's reassuring to the other person and creates a sense of solidarity or closeness.
3. Be involved, animated and excited - Avoid wearing one single look and using one monotonous voice to bore the other person into tears, all in the name of conversation. To be interesting and unpredictable, use facial expressions to create moods, vary your voice to create different characters etc.
4. Use suggestive spaces - Don't talk too much and at greater length leaving the other person feeling that he or she did not have the opportunity to speak. If you say something, it must be a prod for the other person to join in. The best use of suggestive spaces is in "call-and -response" conversation where you use humour, puzzles and phrases that draw in the other person to participate.
5. Tell stories that are deeply meaningful to you - Most people try to tell stories that are supposedly funny just to entertain the other person; this is good but not enough. Stories that are from your heart (funny or not) are more likely to create a heart-to-heart-connection. When you tell your story make it in the present tense. The present tense puts the listener inside the story. It implies that the story does not belong to you alone, but to you and the person listening--you are experiencing it together.
6. Engage in witty repartee - Use the surprise element or "shock" effect to create pleasurable anticipation (not uneasiness); use his or her own words or phrases, twist and turn them around, and pretend to misinterpret and misconstrue what he or she is saying - but make sure he or she knows you are just being playful and not hurtful.
7. Accept disruptions and encourage disagreement - Take more interest in understanding where he or she is coming from rather than trying to achieve agreement or to change his or her mind . People feel closer to you when they feel listened to and treated well.
By simply changing how you engage in conversation, you can dramatically change the chemistry. If you are looking for more ways to seduce a man or woman using conversation, visit my websites for intriguing and unconventional ways of seducing and creating deep and lasting attraction.
About the Author
About the Author: Christine Akiteng, Internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of ebook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness� helps men and women cultivate that NATURAL EASE that draws the opposite sex in - without the mental stress and emotional frustration of today's dating dynamics.
Christine's websites: http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com and http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com
Friday, October 19, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Dating Online For Singles
Internet dating is probably the best thing to happen to singles. Years ago, being single meant trawling bars, chatting up colleagues, singles clubs and of course the well meaning friends who would try and set you up with their other single friend. I even read an article in a newspaper a few years ago about how supermarkets were the best places to get a date. Nowadays, all of the above are redundant methods of meeting a partner. Online dating has gone mainstream, and if you are thinking of checking it out, this article may convince you to take action.
Online dating works by virtue of their being thousands of other members of pretty much every site you think about joining. Most of these people upload photographs of themselves, so you can see what they look like as well as get some idea of their personality by reading their profile. The more members there are, the more likely it is that you will meet someone you may want to have a relationship with. If you are new to internet dating, you should probably go with one of the larger more established dating sites as they will have more members than the more specialised niche dating sites.
Girls tend to get more interest on dating sites than guys do, so for this reason it is important that you pay special attention to your profile. If you wouldn't date someone 10 years older than you, then set your age range accordingly. Otherwise you will get emails from people who you would not want to go out with. Its only polite to answer emails, so unless you want to spend your time sending rejection emails then make your profile as refined as possible.
If you send messages to people you like, and reply to messages sent to you, it won't be too long before you are actually going on dates. Try and get to know the person as well as possible online before you meet them offline. This helps you to filter out the people who you know you won't like. There is no point in going on a series of first dates with people you aren't compatible with. This will only serve to give you a negative impression of online dating.
Dating online for singles can be a huge amount of fun, and it's a great way to meet other singles. There is no need to be depressed about being single anymore, online dating works and if you are prepared to commit some time to you will surely succeed.
About the Author
Julie Westbrook is an expert in the field of Internet Dating, and has recently launched a new site at http://www.Internet-Dating-Lowdown.com which aims to cover all aspects of the online dating experience for both men and women. Can't decide which dating site to go for? Why not try http://www.best-internet-dating-site.com
Online dating works by virtue of their being thousands of other members of pretty much every site you think about joining. Most of these people upload photographs of themselves, so you can see what they look like as well as get some idea of their personality by reading their profile. The more members there are, the more likely it is that you will meet someone you may want to have a relationship with. If you are new to internet dating, you should probably go with one of the larger more established dating sites as they will have more members than the more specialised niche dating sites.
Girls tend to get more interest on dating sites than guys do, so for this reason it is important that you pay special attention to your profile. If you wouldn't date someone 10 years older than you, then set your age range accordingly. Otherwise you will get emails from people who you would not want to go out with. Its only polite to answer emails, so unless you want to spend your time sending rejection emails then make your profile as refined as possible.
If you send messages to people you like, and reply to messages sent to you, it won't be too long before you are actually going on dates. Try and get to know the person as well as possible online before you meet them offline. This helps you to filter out the people who you know you won't like. There is no point in going on a series of first dates with people you aren't compatible with. This will only serve to give you a negative impression of online dating.
Dating online for singles can be a huge amount of fun, and it's a great way to meet other singles. There is no need to be depressed about being single anymore, online dating works and if you are prepared to commit some time to you will surely succeed.
About the Author
Julie Westbrook is an expert in the field of Internet Dating, and has recently launched a new site at http://www.Internet-Dating-Lowdown.com which aims to cover all aspects of the online dating experience for both men and women. Can't decide which dating site to go for? Why not try http://www.best-internet-dating-site.com
Monday, October 8, 2007
What Are the Odds of Finding Mr. Right Online?
The odds of finding your “soul-mate” online are a lot better than you may think. It doesn’t happen for everyone, of course, but it can happen for you. The world of internet or online dating has exploded over the last few years.
As our lives become busier and busier we need to make better use of our time and energy in our search for the one man who will make our lives complete.
The old saying, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a princess” is no longer true. Why kiss frogs when you can read hundreds of profiles and look at the pictures that go with them for a small monthly fee? That saves time and money…not to mention lip burn.
These are a few good reasons to consider online dating:
(1) There is a wide range of men to choose from. You aren’t limited to the men in your social circle or work environment.
(2) You have the opportunity to get to know a lot about a man before you ever contact him for the first time. You will know his age, marital status, what city he lives in, whether he has children, his height/weight and his likes and dislikes all from his profile. You’ll even see a picture of him.
(3) You have a better chance to present yourself in a favorable way. This is especially useful for those of us who are shy. We have time to think about how we want to say things about ourselves and can avoid being tongue tied. Even those who are more extroverted can take time to reflect on who they really are before writing their online profile.
(4) Online dating is certainly a time saver. You can meet so many more men in a lot less time than you ever could out in the real world.
As our lives become busier and busier we need to make better use of our time and energy in our search for the one man who will make our lives complete.
The old saying, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a princess” is no longer true. Why kiss frogs when you can read hundreds of profiles and look at the pictures that go with them for a small monthly fee? That saves time and money…not to mention lip burn.
These are a few good reasons to consider online dating:
(1) There is a wide range of men to choose from. You aren’t limited to the men in your social circle or work environment.
(2) You have the opportunity to get to know a lot about a man before you ever contact him for the first time. You will know his age, marital status, what city he lives in, whether he has children, his height/weight and his likes and dislikes all from his profile. You’ll even see a picture of him.
(3) You have a better chance to present yourself in a favorable way. This is especially useful for those of us who are shy. We have time to think about how we want to say things about ourselves and can avoid being tongue tied. Even those who are more extroverted can take time to reflect on who they really are before writing their online profile.
(4) Online dating is certainly a time saver. You can meet so many more men in a lot less time than you ever could out in the real world.
What Are the Odds of Finding Mr. Right Online?
The odds of finding your “soul-mate” online are a lot better than you may think. It doesn’t happen for everyone, of course, but it can happen for you. The world of internet or online dating has exploded over the last few years.
As our lives become busier and busier we need to make better use of our time and energy in our search for the one man who will make our lives complete.
The old saying, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a princess” is no longer true. Why kiss frogs when you can read hundreds of profiles and look at the pictures that go with them for a small monthly fee? That saves time and money…not to mention lip burn.
These are a few good reasons to consider online dating:
(1) There is a wide range of men to choose from. You aren’t limited to the men in your social circle or work environment.
(2) You have the opportunity to get to know a lot about a man before you ever contact him for the first time. You will know his age, marital status, what city he lives in, whether he has children, his height/weight and his likes and dislikes all from his profile. You’ll even see a picture of him.
(3) You have a better chance to present yourself in a favorable way. This is especially useful for those of us who are shy. We have time to think about how we want to say things about ourselves and can avoid being tongue tied. Even those who are more extroverted can take time to reflect on who they really are before writing their online profile.
(4) Online dating is certainly a time saver. You can meet so many more men in a lot less time than you ever could out in the real world.
As our lives become busier and busier we need to make better use of our time and energy in our search for the one man who will make our lives complete.
The old saying, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a princess” is no longer true. Why kiss frogs when you can read hundreds of profiles and look at the pictures that go with them for a small monthly fee? That saves time and money…not to mention lip burn.
These are a few good reasons to consider online dating:
(1) There is a wide range of men to choose from. You aren’t limited to the men in your social circle or work environment.
(2) You have the opportunity to get to know a lot about a man before you ever contact him for the first time. You will know his age, marital status, what city he lives in, whether he has children, his height/weight and his likes and dislikes all from his profile. You’ll even see a picture of him.
(3) You have a better chance to present yourself in a favorable way. This is especially useful for those of us who are shy. We have time to think about how we want to say things about ourselves and can avoid being tongue tied. Even those who are more extroverted can take time to reflect on who they really are before writing their online profile.
(4) Online dating is certainly a time saver. You can meet so many more men in a lot less time than you ever could out in the real world.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
How Do I Choose the Right Site For Me?
With the explosion of online dating sites has come a virtual smorgasbord of choices. There are free sites… I don’t recommend those but if money is a real concern, they are better than nothing. There are the large paid sites with many and varied features like chat, IM and even matching using profiles. There are the less expensive paid sites with few features. There are special interest sites for almost any thing you can think of...outdoor enthusiasts, couch potatoes, religious, non-religious, gays, lesbians…like I said…almost anything you can think of. So what’s a girl to do? A girl should choose the site or sites that best fit her needs.
Here are some things to consider:
(1) Cost. How much do you want or how much can you spend each month for your membership (s)?
(2) Features. Which features are the most important to you?
(A) Profile matching systems. Is this a feature you really want or would you rather decide who is right for you all by yourself?
(B) Chat and IM’s? There are websites who offer chat rooms and IM’s on their sites. Does that matter or would you be happy just sticking to private email.
(C) Outside Events…such as speed dating? Are you interested in that?
(D) Privacy. Some websites allow you to limit who can view your picture or your profile. Does this matter to you or do you want as wide exposure as you can have?
(E) Safety. There are websites who do background checks of all subscribers and certify their age, marital status and background. Would you feel safer using this feature?
These are a few things but not all things you should consider when choosing an online dating service or services. Do your homework and choose wisely for the best results for you.
Here are some things to consider:
(1) Cost. How much do you want or how much can you spend each month for your membership (s)?
(2) Features. Which features are the most important to you?
(A) Profile matching systems. Is this a feature you really want or would you rather decide who is right for you all by yourself?
(B) Chat and IM’s? There are websites who offer chat rooms and IM’s on their sites. Does that matter or would you be happy just sticking to private email.
(C) Outside Events…such as speed dating? Are you interested in that?
(D) Privacy. Some websites allow you to limit who can view your picture or your profile. Does this matter to you or do you want as wide exposure as you can have?
(E) Safety. There are websites who do background checks of all subscribers and certify their age, marital status and background. Would you feel safer using this feature?
These are a few things but not all things you should consider when choosing an online dating service or services. Do your homework and choose wisely for the best results for you.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Blind Date vs Internet Date
Your friend has decided that you need help with your social life so she sets you up with a blind date….a friend of a friend of a friend. You, foolishly, accept. Now there you are. It’s less than one hour since you were introduced. You are sitting in a Thai restaurant and you hate Thai food. The entrée has not yet been served. His idea of enlightened conversation is who will be in the final four…you aren’t into sports. He knows the weekly TV schedule verbatim….you haven’t sat through a movie in months because you run marathons and volunteer at the local food bank. He says, “Volunteering is a waste of time because you can’t help ‘those people’ anyway.” You look at your watch; see that it’s only been 10 minutes since you last looked at it the last time and wonder how long it is before you can gracefully remove yourself from the situation. Been there?
Now imagine a date with someone you met through internet dating and have been chatting online with and exchanging emails with for quite some time. First, you don’t need to be introduced. You already know this man. You are sitting in an Italian restaurant enjoying a delightful meal because you both know that the other’s favorite is Italian. The conversation flows easily as you discuss common interests. He runs marathons and loves history just like you do. You happily discuss the volunteer work that each of you is involved in. You look at your watch and discover that it is late…very late…where Has the time gone.
There is a big difference between a well-intentioned friend “setting you up” and choosing a man for yourself who shares your interests and tastes, isn’t there? Now which one would you rather have?
Now imagine a date with someone you met through internet dating and have been chatting online with and exchanging emails with for quite some time. First, you don’t need to be introduced. You already know this man. You are sitting in an Italian restaurant enjoying a delightful meal because you both know that the other’s favorite is Italian. The conversation flows easily as you discuss common interests. He runs marathons and loves history just like you do. You happily discuss the volunteer work that each of you is involved in. You look at your watch and discover that it is late…very late…where Has the time gone.
There is a big difference between a well-intentioned friend “setting you up” and choosing a man for yourself who shares your interests and tastes, isn’t there? Now which one would you rather have?
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
A Woman's Guide to Writing a Great Profile
OK…the time has come. You have joined an online dating service or two. Now you must write that all-important profile… the one that will attract attention and reel in the man of your dreams… but where to start? Maybe writing isn’t even something you think you do all that well. Even so, you can do this.
The first thing is to be absolutely honest about yourself. You are looking for that man who will like…maybe someday love…YOU….THE REAL YOU! Examine past relationships and list the things that you liked and the things you did not like. If he smoked in the house and you hated it, you won’t like it any better the next time. If you love cats and will always want to own one or more, say that you are an animal lover and want indoor pets. Someone who hates cats or is allergic to them is not the guy for you.
Accent the things that make you unique. If you play the piano well, you really want Mr. Right to appreciate it. If you run in marathons, a couch potato is not a good match. If you love art, you really don’t want a man who thinks Picasso is an ice cream flavor.
Describe the things that are vital in your life. If volunteering is the one thing that makes you feel useful and worthwhile, you want someone who would, at the very least, support you if not join you in your volunteer projects. When you get beyond superficial things, you will attract men who share your values.
Invest in your online profile by hiring a professional photographer for your first online picture. This is so important. The picture is the FIRST thing men see. The second thing is that they read what you have written about yourself. Some online dating sites even provide you with a list of photographers in your area that specialize in online dating site photos.
The first thing is to be absolutely honest about yourself. You are looking for that man who will like…maybe someday love…YOU….THE REAL YOU! Examine past relationships and list the things that you liked and the things you did not like. If he smoked in the house and you hated it, you won’t like it any better the next time. If you love cats and will always want to own one or more, say that you are an animal lover and want indoor pets. Someone who hates cats or is allergic to them is not the guy for you.
Accent the things that make you unique. If you play the piano well, you really want Mr. Right to appreciate it. If you run in marathons, a couch potato is not a good match. If you love art, you really don’t want a man who thinks Picasso is an ice cream flavor.
Describe the things that are vital in your life. If volunteering is the one thing that makes you feel useful and worthwhile, you want someone who would, at the very least, support you if not join you in your volunteer projects. When you get beyond superficial things, you will attract men who share your values.
Invest in your online profile by hiring a professional photographer for your first online picture. This is so important. The picture is the FIRST thing men see. The second thing is that they read what you have written about yourself. Some online dating sites even provide you with a list of photographers in your area that specialize in online dating site photos.
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