FINDING YOUR SOUL MATE

Lets face it, we all, at some level, dream of that perfect someone. We dream of that man or woman who will come into our lives and chase all those clouds of loneliness away. We want to be with that special person who understands us, adores us, loves us and is one with us. The idea of soul mates is not a new one and could very safely be said to be as old as the history of man himself. There is something within men and women that makes them seek out that special relationship with that special someone; that someone that is supposedly made especially for them. Unfortunately for too many though, the dream of finding their soul mate remains just that, a dream. These days, lots of people are starting to actually abandon this dream. However, the truth is that we really don't have to. Finding our soul mates is a possible and attainable goal when we go about it the right way. In my life as a single person I have had the privilege dating quite a number of wonderful ladies. In the course of all those dates I have come across some truly astounding women and some "ok" women. One of the things that I have come to believe is that we don't really have one soul mate. On the contrary, we have soul mates. Sounds kind of bizarre I know but that has been my experience in life and with women. That is why I don't believe that saying that says love comes only once in a persons life time. In my opinion, love comes more than once. In fact I would say that love comes many times in one's life. Now here is the question. If love comes many times over is there any need to value the love you've found now (especially since they are not perfect) if you could toss it away and find love again (and maybe someone better too) just around the corner? Why not trade the love you've found now for a better one? Well that's the catch. Each love experience is real and is unique. That's great to know actually but that's not the reason why you shouldn't be in a hurry to play around with the love you've found now. The real problem is that I have found that with most people, finding love takes time. In other words while you might always be able to find someone new to love and who loves you back in return, if you let go of your present love, chances are that it could take you anywhere from six months to three years or more to find a new love.

The bottom line is, take good care of the love you find because while you may always be able to find love if you wait long enough, finding true love takes time and too many times time is something we don't have enough of. If you doubt me ask a 55yr old man or woman who is looking for love. In my opinion they really don't have the luxury of dumping their old love in search for a new one just for the fun of it.

Now, enough of the blabbering. How really can one find ones soul mate? Below are outlined some steps that will definitely come in handy in your quest to locate you soul mate.

1. Know who you are

It's essential that you know who you are, know what you want, and know what it would take to satisfy you. In order for you to be adequately able to know what it will take to satisfy you in a mate you have to first have a healthy understanding of who your are. If you do not understand yourself, you will find it difficult to recognize the sort of person who will give you the love and understanding that you seek.

Know your strengths and your weaknesses. When you know this, it becomes easy to be able to identify the sort of person who will compliment you. One of the characteristics of a soul mate is that they compliment you. In other words, they are strong in lots of places in which you are weak.

2. Know what you want

Once you have gotten a good understanding of who you are, (your strengths, weaknesses and all), it becomes easier to recognize and identify the right man or woman for you. To really make this picture of who you want to be with clearer, I would suggest you took out some time to outline at least ten basic characteristics or behavioral and personality traits that your kind of person should have. It's like creating a shopping list. With a well prepared list it becomes easier for you to stay focused when you go "spouse shopping" and not to waste your valuable resources of time, energy and emotions on non-suitable members of the opposite sex.

3. Become better

Too often we neglect to get on with our lives and to achieve our dreams in other areas of our lives because we are too busy waiting for our soul mates; waiting for love. Unknowingly, too many people sabotage their chances of finding their soul mates and true love at that, by this very approach. Everyone loves a winner and the more confident and developed our intellects and our minds are the more attractive we are likely to be to members of the opposite sex. In your search for through love you must resist the temptation to put your life on hold. Don't let go of your dreams because you are too busy waiting for love to find you. Live your dreams instead and achieve your goals. In the process, you will unconsciously attract the love you desire through your new found self confidence.

4. Prepare to meet your soul mate

One of the most important skills we can develop as human beings is the skill of effective communication. Another important skill that we need to learn to help us have more success in our relationships in the skill of conflict resolution. When a couple learns to communicate properly, lots of unnecessary arguments are avoided and life as a couple tends to be much more enjoyable. Don't just sit on your butt doing nothing and waiting for love to find you, prepare to meet your soul mate. Read books, attend seminars, watch T.V program and get as much information as possible on how to build and sustain healthy and fulfilling intimate relationships with members of the opposite sex. Contrary to what the romance novels would make us believe, a good, fulfilling and successful relationship takes work and smart work at that.

You need to know what to do, how to handle conflict and how to get the best out your relationship if you want to avoid getting into unnecessary squabbles or worse still, losing your soul mate to a smarter more informed adversary.

5. Pray

Finally, last but not least, you need to learn to pray. Ok maybe you are not into religion but I must tell you that there is certainly something about meeting that special someone that is clearly divine.

There have been times when I was not very socially active and I have met some truly astounding women; women that could easily pass for my soul mate. On the other hand, there have been other times when I have been out there seriously single and searching but while I managed to meet ten times as much women at such times I have never been able to find a special woman through this approach. What I got when I went all out aggressively searching and depending on my own ability to chat up women was quantity but not quality.

In my experience, while you should not neglect opportunities to prepare to find love or learn the best line or approaches for meeting men or women, it is necessary that you get God involved in your searching if you really want to get it right. I believe that there is at least one right person for everyone on this planet. The challenge however is to get these two well suited people who have been searching for each other since they were both fifteen to meet. The love you seek or have been seeking for the past eight years might just be a few blocks away from you.

The truth is that it's really no use knowing how to sweep women of their feet if you never get the chance to use your skills in wooing the girl of your dreams; your soul mate. You need to get to meet her before you will get the opportunity to woo her. The same goes for a woman. It's no use knowing how to make every man feel attraction for you if you never get the chance to use your charms on the one that fulfills you. Lots of women know how to get a man's attention but unfortunately they have only been able to attract heart breakers and men who do not have their best interests at heart. That's where divine intervention comes in.

If you ask me, it takes divine intervention to orchestrate fate in such a way that two perfect strangers in a park and in the midst of hundreds of other people get the chance to notice each other, to see that glimmer in each others eyes as they stare at each other across the park. To feel their hearts skip a beat as they feel that special sensation start to flow through their veins. To reach out with trusting abandonment for each other as they seek to take hold of that for which they have searched for all their lives. If you ask me, only God can make this happen.

Taire Stephen is an author of several relationships and personal development books including, "Understanding men, understanding women, nice girls don't get Mr. Right, understanding relationships, why men run away from commitment" etc. Email: stephen@tairestephen.com click here www.tairestephen.com/download.php to get my free e-book titled "finding your soul mate" Meet singles online here http://www.something4singles.com You can receive more free tips by email by subscribing to his free newsletter at http://www.tairestephen.com when you sign up as a free member.

© 2008 TAIRE STEPHEN

About the Author
Taire stephen is the author of various including understandnig men and understanding women. website: http://www.tairestephen.com http://www.36states.com email:stephen@tairestephen.com

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About the Author
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